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愛(ài)始於我們對(duì)一個(gè)人的印象開(kāi)始詩(shī)化的那一刻。-- 米蘭.昆德拉 從哲學(xué)層面看,這是柏拉圖式理念世界在現(xiàn)實(shí)情感中的映射,我們將心中對(duì)完美伴侶的理想範(fàn)式投射到對(duì)方身上,賦予其超越現(xiàn)實(shí)的光輝,這種詩(shī)化是人類(lèi)對(duì)永恆之美的本能追逐。 心理學(xué)上,它是認(rèn)知偏差與情感濾鏡的交織,大腦為了滿(mǎn)足內(nèi)心對(duì)親密關(guān)係的渴望,主動(dòng)篩選並美化對(duì)方的特質(zhì),讓每一次相處都被甜蜜暈染。 社會(huì)學(xué)角度而言,愛(ài)與詩(shī)化是社會(huì)文化的產(chǎn)物,社會(huì)的浪漫敘事、藝術(shù)作品的渲染,使我們?cè)跐撘庾R(shí)裡期待著一場(chǎng)詩(shī)意的愛(ài)情,當(dāng)符合期待的人出現(xiàn),便迫不及待地開(kāi)啟這場(chǎng)愛(ài)的詩(shī)化旅程。 在這場(chǎng)旅程中,隨著了解的深入,詩(shī)化的泡沫或許會(huì)被現(xiàn)實(shí)戳破,但真正的愛(ài)正是在理想與現(xiàn)實(shí)的碰撞中生根發(fā)芽。它不再僅僅依賴(lài)於美好的想像,而是在接納對(duì)方的不完美後,依然選擇相互陪伴、共同成長(zhǎng)。 這種愛(ài),是歷經(jīng)千帆後的篤定,是看過(guò)對(duì)方靈魂深處的陰暗後,仍願(yuàn)意牽起對(duì)方的手,在塵世中相互取暖,共同書(shū)寫(xiě)屬於彼此的生命史詩(shī),讓愛(ài)成為對(duì)抗時(shí)間與虛無(wú)的永恆力量。
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Even if the world turns its back, I hope the kind ones never lose their light. Because in a world so dark and unfair, their quiet goodness is a rebellion. And maybe - just maybe - their pain isn’t in vain. Maybe they are the ones keeping humanity alive. 即使世界背過(guò)身去,我希望那些善良的人永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)失去他們的光芒。 因?yàn)樵谶@樣一個(gè)黑暗且不公的世界里,他們無(wú)聲的善行就是一種反抗。 或許——僅僅是或許——他們的痛苦并非毫無(wú)意義。 或許正是他們維系著人類(lèi)的生存。
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我希望有一天我終于能夠?qū)W會(huì)看到自己的價(jià)值,無(wú)論我遭受了多大的傷害。我迫不及待地想要學(xué)會(huì)如何用愛(ài)和善意來(lái)對(duì)待自己。不知何故,我知道自己現(xiàn)在非常討厭自己。我知道自己內(nèi)心有一部分在說(shuō),我是一個(gè)糟糕的人。要與自己抗?fàn)幷娴暮茈y。我必須學(xué)會(huì)原諒和欣賞自己。我必須足夠自信,才能告訴自己,自己是寶貴的。我必須相信自己是有價(jià)值的。我還有太多需要學(xué)習(xí)的東西,才能更好地愛(ài)自己。我必須每天尊重和照顧自己。我必須成為最好的自己,這樣才永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)感到渺小和毫無(wú)價(jià)值。我必須真誠(chéng)地珍視自己。我還必須提醒自己,我不應(yīng)滿(mǎn)足于低于自己應(yīng)得的東西。我希望有一天我終于能夠坦然地說(shuō),我永遠(yuǎn)都是足夠的,我也希望我終于能夠停止在別人的眼光中尋找自己的價(jià)值。
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I hope someday I will finally learn to see my worth no matter how hurt I am. I can't wait to learn how to treat myself with love and kindness. Somehow, I know that I hate myself a lot right now. I know that a part of me is saying that I am a terrible person. It's really hard to fight against myself. I have to learn to forgive and appreciate myself. I have to be confident enough to tell myself that I am precious. I have to believe that I am worthy. There are still a lot of things that I need to learn in order to love myself better. I have to respect and take care of myself every day. I have to be the best version of myself so that I never feel small and worthless. I have to value myself genuinely. And I have to remind myself that I do not deserve to settle for less than what I deserve. I hope someday I can finally say that I am always enough, and I hope I can finally stop finding my worth in somebody else's eyes.
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活著,帶著世界賦予我們的裂痕去生活。?用殘損的手掌撫平彼此的創(chuàng)痕,?固執(zhí)地迎向幸福吧。?因?yàn)闆](méi)有一種命運(yùn)是對(duì)人的懲罰。?而只要竭盡全力,就應(yīng)該是幸福的。?擁抱當(dāng)下的光明,不寄希望于空渺的烏托邦,振奮昂揚(yáng)。?因?yàn)樯旧砭褪菍?duì)荒誕最有力的反抗。 ——加繆《西西弗神話(huà)》
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I’ve learned that staying quiet can be more powerful than trying to explain yourself over and over. You don’t owe explanations to people who choose not to understand you. Sometimes, silence says everything that needs to be said. 我明白了保持沉默可能比一遍又一遍地試圖解釋自己更有力。你不必向那些選擇不理解你的人做出解釋。有時(shí)候,沉默本身就包含了所有需要表達(dá)的意思。
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一輩子很短, 不要為了不值得的人和事浪費(fèi)時(shí)間, 做你想做的,要好好愛(ài)自己。 你的優(yōu)秀,要遇到識(shí)你的人; 你的真誠(chéng),要遇到珍惜的人; 你的善良,要遇到感恩的人。 人這一輩子會(huì)遇見(jiàn)很多人, 有人喜歡你,有人討厭你, 有人嫉妒你,有人嘲笑你。 不管別人怎麼對(duì)你,都不用太在意, 畢竟他們都是外人,毫無(wú)分量,無(wú)關(guān)要緊。 生活終究是自己的,你要對(duì)它負(fù)責(zé)到底, 永遠(yuǎn)心懷陽(yáng)光,始終努力向上。 記住,你只有努力爲(wèi)自己而活, 才能不負(fù)光陰,不負(fù)自己,不負(fù)所愛(ài)。
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I wish people would understand how important it is to be kind to each other nowadays. I know most of us here are struggling to survive every day. We all have battles to fight for. We all have sadness and pain hidden within our chests And sometimes, we just need someone to understand us and treat us with kindness because the world has never been gentle to us. 我希望人們能理解,在當(dāng)今這個(gè)年代,相互善待是多么重要。我知道在座的各位大多每天都在為生存而苦苦掙扎。我們都有各自的戰(zhàn)斗需要面對(duì)。我們心中都藏著悲傷和痛苦。而有時(shí)候,我們只是需要有人能理解我們,以善意對(duì)待我們,因?yàn)檫@個(gè)世界從未對(duì)我們溫柔以待。
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世界上最值得珍惜的,是過(guò)得剛剛好的生活。 不是每天都要拼命努力、追著進(jìn)度跑, 也不是凡事都要做到完美無(wú)瑕。 生活,不該是壓力的代名詞, 而是讓你安心呼吸、穩(wěn)穩(wěn)走路的地方。 有時(shí)候,累了就讓自己慢一點(diǎn); 煩了就放過(guò)自己一下。 該吃飯就吃飯,該休息就休息, 不是因?yàn)閼卸瑁且驗(yàn)槟阒档眠^(guò)得舒服一點(diǎn)。 別總是被社群上的「別人」影響節(jié)奏, 也別為了追求別人的生活樣子,弄丟了自己的步調(diào)。 你的人生,不用拿去和誰(shuí)比較, 日子過(guò)得開(kāi)心、有笑容,就是最好的答案。 生活不是要活得多厲害, 而是要活得剛好、踏實(shí)、有溫度。 放下對(duì)「完美」的執(zhí)著, 才能撿起屬於自己的快樂(lè)。
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What surprises me most about humankind is that we get bored of our childhood, rush to grow up, and long to be children again. That we lose our health to make money and then lose our money to restore our health. That by thinking anxiously about the future, we forget the present, such that we live in neither the present nor the future. That we live as if we'll never die and die as though we've never lived. “最讓我感到驚訝的是,人類(lèi)竟然會(huì)對(duì)童年感到厭倦,急于長(zhǎng)大,同時(shí)又渴望再次成為孩子。 我們?yōu)榱速嶅X(qián)而犧牲健康,之后又為了恢復(fù)健康而損失金錢(qián)。 通過(guò)焦慮地思考未來(lái),我們忘記了當(dāng)下,結(jié)果既活不到當(dāng)下,也活不到未來(lái)。 我們活著時(shí)仿佛永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)死去,死去時(shí)又好像從未活過(guò)。
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理想。希望,信仰,追求美好的憧憬,這些東西,比什么都有力量!