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臨近幸福
36天前 傾聽者 關注I suffer from too much thinking. What I feel, I think. What I don’t feel, I think too. The anguish is immense. I’ve got nothing to do but keep turning the same thoughts over in my mind, like a prisoner who endlessly walks the same path in a cell. The loneliness inside me is a crowd of ghosts, whispering of lost days and broken dreams, a noise so loud that I cannot sleep, cannot breathe. “我受夠了太多的思考。我感覺到的，我會思考。我沒有感覺到的，我也會過度思考。痛苦是巨大的。我除了不斷在腦海中反復思考同樣的想法之外，別無他法，就像是一個囚犯在牢房里無休止地走同一條路。我內心的孤獨是一群鬼魂，低語著失去的日子和破碎的夢想，噪音如此之大，我無法入睡，無法呼吸。”
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Even if the world turns its back, I hope the kind ones never lose their light. Because in a world so dark and unfair, their quiet goodness is a rebellion. And maybe - just maybe - their pain isn’t in vain. Maybe they are the ones keeping humanity alive. 即使世界背過身去，我希望那些善良的人永遠不會失去他們的光芒。 因為在這樣一個黑暗且不公的世界里，他們無聲的善行就是一種反抗。 或許——僅僅是或許——他們的痛苦并非毫無意義。 或許正是他們維系著人類的生存。
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我希望有一天我終于能夠學會看到自己的價值，無論我遭受了多大的傷害。我迫不及待地想要學會如何用愛和善意來對待自己。不知何故，我知道自己現在非常討厭自己。我知道自己內心有一部分在說，我是一個糟糕的人。要與自己抗爭真的很難。我必須學會原諒和欣賞自己。我必須足夠自信，才能告訴自己，自己是寶貴的。我必須相信自己是有價值的。我還有太多需要學習的東西，才能更好地愛自己。我必須每天尊重和照顧自己。我必須成為最好的自己，這樣才永遠不會感到渺小和毫無價值。我必須真誠地珍視自己。我還必須提醒自己，我不應滿足于低于自己應得的東西。我希望有一天我終于能夠坦然地說，我永遠都是足夠的，我也希望我終于能夠停止在別人的眼光中尋找自己的價值。
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I hope someday I will finally learn to see my worth no matter how hurt I am. I can't wait to learn how to treat myself with love and kindness. Somehow, I know that I hate myself a lot right now. I know that a part of me is saying that I am a terrible person. It's really hard to fight against myself. I have to learn to forgive and appreciate myself. I have to be confident enough to tell myself that I am precious. I have to believe that I am worthy. There are still a lot of things that I need to learn in order to love myself better. I have to respect and take care of myself every day. I have to be the best version of myself so that I never feel small and worthless. I have to value myself genuinely. And I have to remind myself that I do not deserve to settle for less than what I deserve. I hope someday I can finally say that I am always enough, and I hope I can finally stop finding my worth in somebody else's eyes.
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活著，帶著世界賦予我們的裂痕去生活。?用殘損的手掌撫平彼此的創痕，?固執地迎向幸福吧。?因為沒有一種命運是對人的懲罰。?而只要竭盡全力，就應該是幸福的。?擁抱當下的光明，不寄希望于空渺的烏托邦，振奮昂揚。?因為生命本身就是對荒誕最有力的反抗。 ——加繆《西西弗神話》
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I’ve learned that staying quiet can be more powerful than trying to explain yourself over and over. You don’t owe explanations to people who choose not to understand you. Sometimes, silence says everything that needs to be said. 我明白了保持沉默可能比一遍又一遍地試圖解釋自己更有力。你不必向那些選擇不理解你的人做出解釋。有時候，沉默本身就包含了所有需要表達的意思。
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一輩子很短， 不要為了不值得的人和事浪費時間， 做你想做的，要好好愛自己。 你的優秀，要遇到識你的人； 你的真誠，要遇到珍惜的人； 你的善良，要遇到感恩的人。 人這一輩子會遇見很多人， 有人喜歡你，有人討厭你， 有人嫉妒你，有人嘲笑你。 不管別人怎麼對你，都不用太在意， 畢竟他們都是外人，毫無分量，無關要緊。 生活終究是自己的，你要對它負責到底， 永遠心懷陽光，始終努力向上。 記住，你只有努力爲自己而活， 才能不負光陰，不負自己，不負所愛。
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I wish people would understand how important it is to be kind to each other nowadays. I know most of us here are struggling to survive every day. We all have battles to fight for. We all have sadness and pain hidden within our chests And sometimes, we just need someone to understand us and treat us with kindness because the world has never been gentle to us. 我希望人們能理解，在當今這個年代，相互善待是多么重要。我知道在座的各位大多每天都在為生存而苦苦掙扎。我們都有各自的戰斗需要面對。我們心中都藏著悲傷和痛苦。而有時候，我們只是需要有人能理解我們，以善意對待我們，因為這個世界從未對我們溫柔以待。
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世界上最值得珍惜的，是過得剛剛好的生活。 不是每天都要拼命努力、追著進度跑， 也不是凡事都要做到完美無瑕。 生活，不該是壓力的代名詞， 而是讓你安心呼吸、穩穩走路的地方。 有時候，累了就讓自己慢一點； 煩了就放過自己一下。 該吃飯就吃飯，該休息就休息， 不是因為懶惰，而是因為你值得過得舒服一點。 別總是被社群上的「別人」影響節奏， 也別為了追求別人的生活樣子，弄丟了自己的步調。 你的人生，不用拿去和誰比較， 日子過得開心、有笑容，就是最好的答案。 生活不是要活得多厲害， 而是要活得剛好、踏實、有溫度。 放下對「完美」的執著， 才能撿起屬於自己的快樂。
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What surprises me most about humankind is that we get bored of our childhood, rush to grow up, and long to be children again. That we lose our health to make money and then lose our money to restore our health. That by thinking anxiously about the future, we forget the present, such that we live in neither the present nor the future. That we live as if we'll never die and die as though we've never lived. “最讓我感到驚訝的是，人類竟然會對童年感到厭倦，急于長大，同時又渴望再次成為孩子。 我們為了賺錢而犧牲健康，之后又為了恢復健康而損失金錢。 通過焦慮地思考未來，我們忘記了當下，結果既活不到當下，也活不到未來。 我們活著時仿佛永遠不會死去，死去時又好像從未活過。
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理想。希望，信仰，追求美好的憧憬，這些東西，比什么都有力量！